Loving Summer

Well, we don't have any pictures to prove we've been sailing, fishing,
or beach bumming, but rest assured we've been doing ALL that. Jeremy's
thoroughly enjoyed learning to sail with our neighbor across the
street and been very refreshed by his time out on the water. Me and
the kids have been frequenting the beach half a mile from our house
and the ubber awesome playground just a little further than that - as
if it were our job!

We're just generally loving the picnics in the back yard, walks in the
neighborhood, bike riding practice, swimming, ice pops, grilling, and
sandals. Living right across the street from the New England coast, we
rarely have a truely hot day. It gets humid and stuffy inside mid
afternoon, but it doesn't take much for the window units to fix that
right up.

If the money were good, we'd think we were in paradise...but I guess
there has to be challenges somewhere in every season of life. So we're
growing, and loving, and learning together with our sweet little ones
and grateful for every moment the Lord's given us together.

exciting times

So Easter was fun. 

This past weekend Jeremy and I attended our first home school convention. As parents anyhow. We traveled up to Massachusetts with Jeremy's sister Shawna and our dear friend Terry early Friday and Saturday morning. Two full days of really good stuff.

 Without question my favorite speaker was Dianna Warring, whose History curriculum I have loved and learned from for over a decade. It was really very cool to be able to shake this woman's hand and tell her in person what a blessing she has been in my life.

About a dozen years ago I was one of the teenagers working the Children's Institute in Dallas, Texas. We were lucky enough to have Larry Guthrie joining the traveling leadership team that week, and not only was he a fantastic addition to story time for the kids, he actually instructed us team leaders during teacher training on how to tell a really good story. It was good stuff. Training I have applied in VBS, camp counseling, Sunday School, etc. ever since.

I also got to shake his hand and say thank you.

Jeremy was almost more excited about this conference than I was. He was fascinated  with the scientist there from ICR, and visibly impacted by many of the sessions he attended on leadership, discipleship, etc. 


Somewhat simultaneously we were clued into a new documentary the rest of our church watched when Jeremy was at his last drill weekend. Then in the curriculum hall at the convention we came across a really cool Bible training program we ordered for Sunday school (fyi: we're the joint superintendents and teachers of our church's Sunday school program...otherwise we would have just been sharing a flyer with somebody). Ideas have been swirling about between us ever since. God is moving in our hearts. Digging deeper has suddenly become compulsive. It's an exciting time in our relationship with Jesus. 

For instance, last night just as I was turning out the lights in the kids room, Jeremy scooted in past me and took a few minutes to do a devotion with the kids. The first verse that came to mind was “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Eph 4:32) so he shared it with them and talked about it for a few minutes before saying good night. I had no idea this had happened.

Reuben was the first one up this morning, came down, snuggled up in a blanket on the couch and to wait for breakfast. I paused my morning routine to snuggle with him for a minute, talked about what we should have for breakfast, and then said,

“Reuben, I have a Bible verse for you to think about today.”

And you’ll never guess the verse that I felt impressed to share with him. After quoting it from memory (not necessarily word for word), I put out some scenarios, like what he should do if his sisters make him mad.

“Like if they mess up my tower when I’m building with blocks? ‘Cause that makes me feel mad”

“Exactly like that! What does the Bible say you should do?”

(Thoughtfully, but without pause) “Forgive.”

“That’s exactly right.”

You can imagine my feeling of wonder when Jeremy told me, not five minutes later, about the devotion he’d done with the kids the night before.

One of the very cool thing about this convention was the reassurance I received that I am on the right track in our pre-school/kindergarten education around here. Much of the reading I have done, and the educational philosophy I have adopted is somewhat counter-cultural. Let children have LOTS of real world experience, be patient, have fun, let them discover the world for themselves, and whatever you do don't force academics on them before you're sure they're mentally ready for it. As convinced as I am this is the right approach, there's still the temptation to freak out because none of my children can count to ten or know the whole alphabet. 

It's only been recently they have shown any interest in numbers and letters. Learning about animals is their undying fascination though. They know hundreds of animals and interesting science facts. This picture was taken at the end of one of our little "science classes" where we talked about what is the same and what is different between us and other mammals, or as Reuben and Anna say it "maminals". Tails are, of course, one of the main differences, so we made some horsey tails with yarn and paper clips, just for fun. 

So we play lots of fun learning games together, and I watch carefully for readiness before introducing new skills. And I always feel a little afraid somebody will ask my kid if they know the alphabet, 'cause if they do, suddenly my kid will look really dumb, and I will look like a bad parent. So hearing a lot of scientific type stuff reminding me that this really is the best, and we really will make up ground in the coming years, and really will avoid unnecessary frustration...that was good.

As you may recall, back in December I had a little scare and went to the ER thinking I'd suffered a mild heart attack. Many tests later we know for sure I did not have a heart attack, but no one has the slightest clue what is wrong. The chest pain, shortness of breath, and general weakness gradually subsided so that, by mid January I was functioning rather normally. By April I'd gone weeks at a time without any symptoms at all.

But then the symptoms have gradually returned. It started back in earnest after a leisurely Saturday morning jog about a month ago. And it felt so good at the time too!

After a long tiring weekend, it's been a few pretty rough days. After helping the kids pick up the basement, which took maybe 20 minutes and was not at all strenuous, my whole chest was aching, and I felt so weak and woosie I was afraid to try the stairs before I'd had a good rest. Yesterday it was all I could do to get through the day, and I collapsed into bed and was out cold only moments after the kids bedtime. By 2pm today I already felt totally spent. 

This is obviously very frustrating in the short term, but it is also very concerning to me long term. I'm not willing to live the rest of my life this way, not if I have a choice that is. And these are odd symptoms for a 28-year-old other-wise healthy woman. I feel an urgency that if I don't deal with this wisely now, I am headed for serious trouble. 

The doctors don't seem to have any answers for me, but something clearly is not right. I don't know what else to do but radically change my diet for awhile so that my body can heal itself. 

Back in December my friend Sandy sent me a few messages with ideas about juicing. My initially reaction was, "Oh you're so sweet! But juicing?...heh...yeah, I don't see that happening."

Then a while later, when my symptoms had all but disappeared, I was looking for a documentary to keep my brain fed while I was doing housework and ended up picking one about juicing. It was a "Wow, that's really neat. I'm so glad that worked for him" reaction at the time.

But as my symptoms have come back, and continue to get worse, I've spent more and more time looking into juicers. At the moment I'm really liking one of the omega juicers, and plotting to squeeze it into the budget somehow. 

There's some prayerful consideration yet to do though. Even after investing in the juicer itself, buying all the produce adds up pretty quick. And what if, while really good for, well, all of us, it doesn't actually help resolve my mysterious issues? Would it still be worth the investment then? And will I be able to do the juicing treatment my body needs and still function as a Mom? Because that is a pretty important consideration! ;)

In other news, business is going better than ever, for both of us actually! But we cry out for wisdom all the time, and still feel like we're just barely beginning to figure this stuff out. We want so badly to see God bless this year, make some serious headway digging out of last years hole, and go into this next winter with a savings account (savings account?! whaaaat!?). 

The kids continue to be amazing and adorable. Levi is growing before our very eyes, and we like him quite a lot now. He has the greatest belly laugh. Laura is speaking English better and better every day. Anna has begun to stutter, and make great strides in school simultaneously. We're surmising that her brain has gotten faster than her tongue all of a sudden. And Reuben amazes me every day with how grown up he is. He loves it when Daddy teaches him cool stuff, and can't wait to be a grown up man so he can go to work with Daddy. He's had some bad days recently, behavior wise, but a lot of really good days in between the bad ones. 

Ok. Quick funny story before I end this. Jeremy went up to help Anna change out of her wet pajamas yesterday morning. She was chattering away about "I need help to put on my shirt. ....And I need help to put on my panties." etc. Then without missing a beat she says, "I wanted to have a butterfly dream. (then totally dissapointed sounding) But I didn't." Jeremy came down stairs cracking up to tell me this. He was followed a few minutes later by a tearful Anna, very upset that her Daddy was laughing at her. It was all I could do to stop laughing myself and try to convince her that Daddy was only laughing because he likes her so much, and she makes him feel so happy.

my little crew

Today I had the cutest little crew of photography assistants ever
seen. Anywhere.

This week a happy package arrived in the mail, the contents of which,
for only $30, have made studio lighting possible for me. Huge.
Revolutionary. Magical.

And of course, I needed to test out my new gear. Reuben, Anna, Laura,
and Levi were all willing helpers. Reuben actually did an outrageously
good job keeping Levi still and smiling for me. His methods were very
loud! But effective. ;)

Just when I had given up on this little guy getting any six month
pictures too. :D

Favorite kid quotes for today:

Anna, quite randomly, while waiting for the popcorn to pop:
"Mama, my whole life is changed. I did not have a whiney day. I just
had a happy day. And it was a good change!"

(Little bit of back story. Last night when I hugged her good night, I
asked her if she'd had a good day. She was crying, exhausted and
grumpy, and wailed "Nooo! I had a whiney day!" I told her I was so
sorry to hear that, and maybe should would have a better day tomorrow.
Guess I was right. ;)

and Reuben, while watching a children's show that introduced the
concept of an engineer, turns to me and with great excietment says:
"Engineers - just come up with stuff to SAVE THE WORLD!!"

spring at last

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions per say, but I like to set
goals or at least pick a Bible verse to focus on each year. This year
my personal and family goals all seem to have a common theme.
Regaining physical health (Jeremy's knee, pregnancy and chest pain
recovery for me). Recovering financial health. Striving for emotional
and spiritual health.

And as the year has progressed God has honored those goals by putting
lessons in my path. First he let me really blow it, when I tried to
help someone by sticking my nose in their life and trying to fix a few
things for them and, well...that didn't work out at all like I had
intended.

Then I was blessed with several instances where somebody tried to
stick their nose in my life and "encourage" me to fix it so they would
be more comfortable and happy. That was eye opening as well.

Then there have been a couple books recommend by dear old girl
friends, now mothers themselves in states far away from me. The first
was "One Thousand Gifts" by Anne Voskomp. In summary, I'd say it's
about the vital importance of thankfulness in our relationship with
God. Life changing.

Now I'm also plowing through "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" by Danny
Silk. In summary, I'd say this one is about the importance of teaching
our kids to make good choices, in contrast to the traditional
parenting model of focusing on obedience.

All these things + some are mixing together in my soul, day by day,
moment by moment. There's a sense of awakening in my heart and mind,
so much like the bulbs blooming all around us in the glorious New
England Spring. My spiritual journey has been tumultuous for...well,
probably the last decade or so. I love feeling the beauty of Spring
permeating my heart finally.

Of all these lessons I'm learning, the parenting applications are the
most fascinating to me. Just today I saw Laura playing in Reuben's
tackle box out on the porch. Not cool.

So, I called Reuben over, and with the same courtesy I would express
speaking to an adult, I explained to him I'd seen Laura playing in his
tackle box just now, and she could really get hurt by those hooks.
"That's a pretty big problem, huh? So what are you going to do about
it?"

Reuben listened carefully, then thought for a brief moment and
brightly replied, "I should put my tackle box away in the garage!"

"That's a great idea!"

And off he went, appearing quite pleased with his little genius self.

I could have simply told him to put his tackle box away, and insisted
he obey. I could have also explained briefly why his tackle box left
out on the deck was dangerous for his sisters, so he could understand
the full scope of the situation and modify his actions in the future.
He's a good kid, and cares for his sisters very much, and 9 times out
of 10 he would have obeyed without complaint.

But as it was, I gave him the opportunity to learn responsibility. To
think through the situation and figure out what *he* needed to do
about *his* problem. It was a very small practice scenario preparing
him for life in this scary grown up world he'll one day have to
navigate. A world where you can't just obey authority, he will have to
take responsibility, make good choices, deal with consequences, etc.

Subtle, yet significant difference. And one I doubt I would have
figured out on my own, at least not before reaching Grandma status
that is.

The hinge pin of all these lessons seems to come down to learning self
control. Me learning it. Me controlling me. Me not trying to control
others. But instead giving others, even and especially my children,
the freedom to control themselves. The freedom to make mistakes. The
freedom to do things I don't like, and to live through the
consequences of their own dumb choices. (Some of which turn out to not
actually be dumb. Weird.)

Really, if I spend 90% (or more) of my energy focusing on *my* right
choices, right attitudes, right responses, right words, right motives,
etc., most of the rest of parenting (and every other relationship
besides) will fall in line all by itself.

And while I'm here....

Business is going well for Jeremy. Work is coming in, and some of it
is actually turning a descent profit! Woo-hoo! And we're going about
changing our business name to Benchmark Painting - a bit easier to
figure out what we do just for the name, we figured.

Business has been going pretty well for me too actually. This year I
have finally branched out to photography customers beyond my immediate
social circle. Hooray! Praying this year my photography business will
actually make an appreciable difference in our annual income. Wouldn't
that be cool!?

The kids are doing great too. We're making good progress in both
school and life skills. Jeremy and I are looking forward to attending
our first home school convention in Massachusetts...sometime in the
near future, I forget exactly when. Levi currently has three teeth
trying to come through all at once. You know that's fun! Good thing
though, 'cause he's now sitting in his booster seat and eating real
food now.

There was a lot of words just now. They all seem coherant enough, and
yet they barely wisper all that God is to me right now, and all that
He is doing in me. So, "Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gifts."
(2 Cor 9:15) And enjoy the daffodil pictures! ;)

P.S. Reuben's role in the daffodil fun was explaining to us the parts
of the flower, showing us the pollen, and naming creatures that
pollenate flowers. Such a great kid. It's crazy how much he knows
about science for a kid who still can't count to 10... But he can
count to 5 now! We are making progress! :D