spring at last

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions per say, but I like to set
goals or at least pick a Bible verse to focus on each year. This year
my personal and family goals all seem to have a common theme.
Regaining physical health (Jeremy's knee, pregnancy and chest pain
recovery for me). Recovering financial health. Striving for emotional
and spiritual health.

And as the year has progressed God has honored those goals by putting
lessons in my path. First he let me really blow it, when I tried to
help someone by sticking my nose in their life and trying to fix a few
things for them and, well...that didn't work out at all like I had
intended.

Then I was blessed with several instances where somebody tried to
stick their nose in my life and "encourage" me to fix it so they would
be more comfortable and happy. That was eye opening as well.

Then there have been a couple books recommend by dear old girl
friends, now mothers themselves in states far away from me. The first
was "One Thousand Gifts" by Anne Voskomp. In summary, I'd say it's
about the vital importance of thankfulness in our relationship with
God. Life changing.

Now I'm also plowing through "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" by Danny
Silk. In summary, I'd say this one is about the importance of teaching
our kids to make good choices, in contrast to the traditional
parenting model of focusing on obedience.

All these things + some are mixing together in my soul, day by day,
moment by moment. There's a sense of awakening in my heart and mind,
so much like the bulbs blooming all around us in the glorious New
England Spring. My spiritual journey has been tumultuous for...well,
probably the last decade or so. I love feeling the beauty of Spring
permeating my heart finally.

Of all these lessons I'm learning, the parenting applications are the
most fascinating to me. Just today I saw Laura playing in Reuben's
tackle box out on the porch. Not cool.

So, I called Reuben over, and with the same courtesy I would express
speaking to an adult, I explained to him I'd seen Laura playing in his
tackle box just now, and she could really get hurt by those hooks.
"That's a pretty big problem, huh? So what are you going to do about
it?"

Reuben listened carefully, then thought for a brief moment and
brightly replied, "I should put my tackle box away in the garage!"

"That's a great idea!"

And off he went, appearing quite pleased with his little genius self.

I could have simply told him to put his tackle box away, and insisted
he obey. I could have also explained briefly why his tackle box left
out on the deck was dangerous for his sisters, so he could understand
the full scope of the situation and modify his actions in the future.
He's a good kid, and cares for his sisters very much, and 9 times out
of 10 he would have obeyed without complaint.

But as it was, I gave him the opportunity to learn responsibility. To
think through the situation and figure out what *he* needed to do
about *his* problem. It was a very small practice scenario preparing
him for life in this scary grown up world he'll one day have to
navigate. A world where you can't just obey authority, he will have to
take responsibility, make good choices, deal with consequences, etc.

Subtle, yet significant difference. And one I doubt I would have
figured out on my own, at least not before reaching Grandma status
that is.

The hinge pin of all these lessons seems to come down to learning self
control. Me learning it. Me controlling me. Me not trying to control
others. But instead giving others, even and especially my children,
the freedom to control themselves. The freedom to make mistakes. The
freedom to do things I don't like, and to live through the
consequences of their own dumb choices. (Some of which turn out to not
actually be dumb. Weird.)

Really, if I spend 90% (or more) of my energy focusing on *my* right
choices, right attitudes, right responses, right words, right motives,
etc., most of the rest of parenting (and every other relationship
besides) will fall in line all by itself.

And while I'm here....

Business is going well for Jeremy. Work is coming in, and some of it
is actually turning a descent profit! Woo-hoo! And we're going about
changing our business name to Benchmark Painting - a bit easier to
figure out what we do just for the name, we figured.

Business has been going pretty well for me too actually. This year I
have finally branched out to photography customers beyond my immediate
social circle. Hooray! Praying this year my photography business will
actually make an appreciable difference in our annual income. Wouldn't
that be cool!?

The kids are doing great too. We're making good progress in both
school and life skills. Jeremy and I are looking forward to attending
our first home school convention in Massachusetts...sometime in the
near future, I forget exactly when. Levi currently has three teeth
trying to come through all at once. You know that's fun! Good thing
though, 'cause he's now sitting in his booster seat and eating real
food now.

There was a lot of words just now. They all seem coherant enough, and
yet they barely wisper all that God is to me right now, and all that
He is doing in me. So, "Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gifts."
(2 Cor 9:15) And enjoy the daffodil pictures! ;)

P.S. Reuben's role in the daffodil fun was explaining to us the parts
of the flower, showing us the pollen, and naming creatures that
pollenate flowers. Such a great kid. It's crazy how much he knows
about science for a kid who still can't count to 10... But he can
count to 5 now! We are making progress! :D